Families+at+Risk;+Loss+&+Grief

 =__**Coping With the Untimely Death of a Child**__ = When parents lose a child it is a devastating life event that will never be forgotten in their lives. Many times a parent does not think of their own child passing away before they, themselves, do. Reorganization and reintegration into the community is the next step after dealing with the loss of a child. A lot of times parent's feel responsible for their child's death and feel like there was something they could have done to prevent it, regardless if that is the truth or not. The grief process is very difficult, but it must be done in order for the parent to be able to live a day-to-day life. There are five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Over time, the grieving period is over but the parent will be forever changed because of the death of their child.

This topic is important for professionals working with families to know about because it is inevitable. Death occurs whether we like it or not but it is always something that is going to happen and we need to learn about it so we can help families cope. By having support for the grieving family is the best thing to help get through this process. In our book, Chin-Yee suggested some guidelines to follow when it comes to parents and their loss of a child. By understanding parent's different types of responses to death, a professional understands one's way of coping won't be the same as another. To allow a parent to express their emotions how they want is the best way to handle the situation. It helps to talk with the parent about their lost child and their life. Talking about birth, their life, and death can be beneficial in helping the parent's grieve. Knowing that anger is normal in the loss of a child and being ready to deal with a parent and that anger is also a great attribute to have. When there are other children in the family we can't forget about them. They too need support because they have lost a sibling. These other children need to be let known that their parent's love them as well and care about them.

**__The Impact of Parental Alcoholism on Children __**

Alcoholism is the most frequent form of substance abuse found among parents (Heath, 2009). Children growing up with at least one alcoholic parent are likely to experience disruptions in family routine and structure, high risk of maltreatment/abuse, and have a decrease in self-esteem and self-confidence. Alcoholic parents tend to have an inconsistent parenting style with no consistent boundaries. This can be stressful for the child because they never know what to expect, don’t know what the rules are for the particular moment or day, and may have to “grow up” and take care of their parents causing role confusion. Daily family rituals, such as meal time and bed time, provide a child with a consistent stable routine. Children with alcoholic parents often do not experience a structured meal time or bedtime, daily family rituals are crucial to a child’s development because it teaches the child rules, roles and values of their family.

This topic is important for professionals working with families who have one or both parents as an alcoholic because it is a common problem that affects the whole family. Professionals can use this topic to educate alcoholic parents on how their disease is affecting the development and growth of their child. Professionals can also educate the parent on getting help and incorporating family rituals and structure back into the family life. By seeking professional help the parents can start to incorporate an authoritative parenting style which provide routine, love, and less role confusion, the child will more than likely develop and increase in self-esteem and self- confidence. Lastly, professionals can offer resources and support to the parent who is not the alcoholic and to the children. This support can help the professional lean how the family members are affected indirectly by the disease and offer them ways to cope with the pain and suffering they may be experiencing.

=**__Parental Substance Abuse__**= Parental Substance Abuse is the excessive use of a substance, especially alcohol and drugs by a parent. The abuse can be done to biological, step, adoptive, and foster children. The consequences on the substance abuser and their family, especially children are very severe. Consequences could be behavioral, health and medical related, psychiatric, educational, emotional, and economical.

· More than 6 million children-about 9 percent of all children-live with at least one parent who abuses or is dependent on alcohol or an illicit drug. · Approximately 10 percent of children with an addicted parent are aged 5 or younger. · Parents who abuse or are dependent on alcohol are more likely to report household conflict than parents who do not abuse or depend on alcohol. · Young people with parents who are addicted to alcohol or illegal drugs are four times more likely to become addicted if they choose to drink alcohol or use illegal drugs. · Children who begin drinking alcohol before the age of 15 are five times more likely to develop alcohol problems than those who start drinking after age 21. · Addiction to alcohol or drugs is a disease. When one member of the family has this disease, all members of the family are affected. · A child whose parent has a substance abuse problem is at greater risk for physical illness, injuries, and abuse. · About 5.4 million children under 18 years of age lived with a father who met the criteria for past year substance dependence or abuse, and 3.4 million lived with a mother who met the criteria All of these facts were taken from the website http://family.samhsa.gov/set/practicepreach.aspx
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It is important as parents to know about Parental Substance abuse because it in the end affects your children more then you. If you are to high or drunk to be there for their school recital or help them with homework, they will remember that forever. It also decreases their chances of socialization as they don’t want to have friends over or feel they need to be home to take care of your or the other siblings. It is important for parents to know that they need to be responsible when using substances, as they have the responsibility of caring for someone’s life which is much more important.

It is important as professionals to know about Parental Substance abuse because you need to know the signs, and how to approach it in a manner where no one will be hurt, and if possible to hide it from the children. In many cases, parental substance abuse leads to real abuse, and as a professional its good to know the stage in which all types of abuse are in.

Knowing about Parental Substance abuse encourages positive interaction with children by realizing how lucky someone’s life is. If you overdose and lose your life, you’re leaving your children with an empty hole in their life. When parental substance abuse ends, that individual can work with and interact positively with a clear mind to those around them. If you know about it, quitting so your children don’t have the same issue as you do, encourages positive interaction with children not only with substance abuse but other issues as you don’t want them to make mistakes you did.

When working with families, you can use this info by recognizing parental substance abuse and fix the issue to ensure everyone in the family is safe and cared for. It is good to know with families also so you can figure out the causes behind other problems and find a solution.

=__**Interparental Violence/Domestic Abuse**__= Interpersonal violence and domestic abuse are commonly interchangeable terms. They both refer to the violence and abuse between parents or parents and their partners, through physical actions or words. Interparental violence is especially dangerous when there is a relationship present, like marriage or engagement or when there are children present as one parent may want to keep the family together for the sake of the children. Another common situation for staying in a violent atmosphere is money, especially when one parent is unemployed. Children where interparental violence occurs are more likely to be abused or neglected themselves, physically or emotionally.

It is important for parent to know about interparental violence so they know when it is time to fix the problem or get out of the relationship, for the sake of themselves and their children. It is also important they recognize that there is violence in the household and that their children are not becoming violent or affected themselves. Parents can use their knowledge about interparental violence to create positive interactions with their children that are not violent and abusive. It is also important to keep children away from violence and abuse to create positive developmental outcomes such as the children having positive socialization skills with others at school, and inviting others into their household.

It is important for professionals to know about interparental violence to help keep the children safe and recognize the whole picture in determining what can be done. Professionals can use their knowledge about interparental violence to create positive interactions with children and positive developmental outcomes by understanding what the children are experiencing and feeling. If they are experiencing violence it is important that professionals can help them find a place to escape the violence, and so the feelings and emotions don’t build up and they don’t do it themselves someday.

= = According to the Parent-Child Relationship book “Siblings are important sources of companionship and affection they also serve as confidants for one another.” Losing a sibling as a child or an adolescent is not as common as losing one as in adult in both cases it can be a painful and traumatic but for children even more so. Children and adolescents might not always grieve after their loss. A lot of times this is due to the children not showing their emotions in order to keep the parents from getting more upset. This can have lifelong effects on the children because they are not allowed to get their feelings out, sometimes as adult they might even have resentment toward the parents.
 * __Death of a sibling during childhood or adolescence__**

This is important for professionals working with families to know so that can help the children go through the grieving process. Many times family members focus on the grieving parent and forget that the siblings left behind are also suffering. It is helpful when adults are willing to talk with children and adolescents about the feelings they are having. It is not good for them to keep things feelings bottled up inside. It might be easier for a child to talk to a professional than it might be to the parent because of the fact that they wouldn’t have to worry about upsetting them. At some point the parents should also speak to the child about what has accrued. The child needs to be given information about why there sibling is no longer with them, but it needs to explained to them according to their ability to understand.